What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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