What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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