What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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