What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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