What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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