What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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