What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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