What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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