What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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