What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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