What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.

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