What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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