What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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A seal walks into a club...
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