What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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