What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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