What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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