What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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