What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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