What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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