What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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