What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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