What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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