What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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