What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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