What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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