What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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