What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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