What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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