What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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