What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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