What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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