What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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