What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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