What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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