What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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