What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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