What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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