What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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