What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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