What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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