What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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