What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?


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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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