What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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