What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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