What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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