What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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