What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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