What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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