What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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