What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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