What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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