What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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