What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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