What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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