What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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