What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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