What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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