What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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