What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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