What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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