What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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