What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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