What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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