What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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