What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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