What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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