What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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