What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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