What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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