What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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