What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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