What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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