What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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