What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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