What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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