What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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