What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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