What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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