What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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