What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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