What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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