What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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