What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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