What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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