What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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