What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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