What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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