What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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