What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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