What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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