What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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