What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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