What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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