What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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