What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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