What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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