What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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