What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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