What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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