What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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