What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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