What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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