What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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