What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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