What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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