What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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