What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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