What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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