What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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