What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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