What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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