What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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