What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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