What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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