What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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