What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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