What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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