What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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