What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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