What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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