What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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