What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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