What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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