What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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