What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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