What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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