What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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