What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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