What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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