What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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