What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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