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What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?
Orange Is The New Black.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?
A coat of arms.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?
Juan by Juan.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?
Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?
Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
"Trike or Treat"?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?
They both have a hole in one!
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