What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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