What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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