What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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