What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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