What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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