What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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