What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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