What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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