What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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