What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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