What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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