What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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