What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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