What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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