What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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