What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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