What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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