What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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