What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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