What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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