What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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