What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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