What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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