What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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