What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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