What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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