What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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