What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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