What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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