What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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