What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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