What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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