What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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