What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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