What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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