What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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