What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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