What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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