What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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