What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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