What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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