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What did one hair say to the other?
It takes two to tangle!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?
Cell phones
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?
A mouse on vacation.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
There are footprints in the butter.
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What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?
Juan by Juan.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"
The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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