What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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