What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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