What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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