What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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