What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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