What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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