What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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