What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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