What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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