What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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