What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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