What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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