What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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