What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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