What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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