What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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