What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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