What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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