What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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