What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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