What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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