What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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