What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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