What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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