What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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