What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

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