What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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