What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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