What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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