What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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