What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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