What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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