What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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