What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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