What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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