What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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