What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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