What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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