What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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