What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T

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