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What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.
but enough about Kanye West.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"
Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A watch dog.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?
A car
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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