What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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