What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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