What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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