What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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