What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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