What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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