What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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