What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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