What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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