What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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