What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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