What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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