What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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