What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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