What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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