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What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?
"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?
Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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