What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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