What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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