What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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