What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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