What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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