What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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