What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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