What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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