What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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