What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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