What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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