What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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