What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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