What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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