What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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