What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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