What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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