What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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