What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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