What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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