What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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