What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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