What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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