What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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