What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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