What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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