What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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