What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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