What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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