What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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