What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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