What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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