What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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