What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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