What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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