What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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