What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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