What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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