What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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