What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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