What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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