What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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