What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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