What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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