What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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