What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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