What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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