What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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