What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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