What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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