What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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