What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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