What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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