What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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