What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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