What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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