What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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