What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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