What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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