What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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