What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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