What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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