What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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