What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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