What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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