What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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