What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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