What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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