What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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