What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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