What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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