What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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