What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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