What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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