What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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