What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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