What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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