What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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