What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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