What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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