What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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