What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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