What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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