What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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