What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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