What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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