What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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