What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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