What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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