What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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