What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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