What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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