What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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