What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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