What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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