What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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