What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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