What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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