What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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