What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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