What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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