What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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