What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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