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What did one wall say to the other?
I'll meet you at the corner.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?
You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,
he's bisatchel.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,
it was a shitzu."
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What did the candle say to the other candle?
I'm going out tonight!
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What kind of band can't play music?
A rubber band.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A hot dog
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