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What did one wall say to the other?
I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?
coz Donald ducked
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
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What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram.
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