What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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