What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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