What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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