What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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