What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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