What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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