What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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