What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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