What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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