What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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