What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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