What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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