What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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