What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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