What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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