What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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