What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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