What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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