What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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