What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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