What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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