What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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