What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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