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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?
A cheetah
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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