What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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