What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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