What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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