What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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