What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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