What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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