What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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