What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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