What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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