What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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