What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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