What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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