What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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