What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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