What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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