What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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