What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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