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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Glass flippers.
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What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A Flat Major
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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