What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva


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