What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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