What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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