What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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