What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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