What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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