What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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