What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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