What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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