What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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