What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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