What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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