What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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