What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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