What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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