What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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