What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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