What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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