What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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