What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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