What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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