What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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