What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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