What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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