What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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