What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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