What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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