What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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