What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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