What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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