What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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