What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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