What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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