What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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