What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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