What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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