What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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