What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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