What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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