What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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