What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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