What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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