What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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