What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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