What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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