What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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