What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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