What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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