What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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