What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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