What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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