What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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