What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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