What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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