What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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