What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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