What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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