What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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