What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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