What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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