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What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?
Thorium.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
With a cowculator.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A fence.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.
I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a scared train?
A fright train!
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What room can you not go into?
A mushroom!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A tree in a golden forest.
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