What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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