What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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