What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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