What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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