What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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