What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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