What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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