What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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