What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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