What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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