What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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