What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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