What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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