What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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