What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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