What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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