What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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