What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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