What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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