What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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