What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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