What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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