What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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