What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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