What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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