What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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