What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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