What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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