What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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