What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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