What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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