What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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