What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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