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What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.
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Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because his feet stink
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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.
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Why is b always cool?
Because it's between ac.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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