What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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