What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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