What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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