What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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