What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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