What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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