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What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would go up.
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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?
They stamp their feet.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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