What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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