What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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