What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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