What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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