What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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