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What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?
Gator-Ade.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?
Thorium.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?
We make perfect cents.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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