What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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