What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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