What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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