What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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