What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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