What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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