What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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