What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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