What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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