What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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