What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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