What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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