What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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