What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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