What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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