What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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