What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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