What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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