What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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