What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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