What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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