What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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