What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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