What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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