What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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