What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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