What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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