What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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