What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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