What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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