What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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