What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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