What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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