What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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