What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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