What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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