What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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