What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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