What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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