What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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