What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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