What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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