What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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