What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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