What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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