What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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