What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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