What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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