What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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