What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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