What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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