What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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