What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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