What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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