What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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