What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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