What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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