What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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