What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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