What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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