What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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