What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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