What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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