What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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