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What did the alien say when he was out of room?
I'm all spaced out!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four
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Went to the corner shop -
bought 4 corners.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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