What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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