What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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