What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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