What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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