What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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