What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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