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What did the alien say when he was out of room?
I'm all spaced out!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?
Carlos.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
Bison
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?
Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
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