What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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