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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?
Where is pop corn?
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What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why don't honest people need beds?
They don't lie.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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