What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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