What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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