What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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