What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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