What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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