What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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