What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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