What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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