What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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