What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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