What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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