What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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