What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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