What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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