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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.
Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
Is that you mommy?
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the guitarist has to show him first.
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