What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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