What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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