What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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