What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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