What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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