What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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