What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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