What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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