What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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