What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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