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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position cords.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?
Super Pickle!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There never was any light bulb.
Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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