What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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