What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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