What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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