What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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