What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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