What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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