What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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