What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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