What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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