What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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