What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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