What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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