What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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