What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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