What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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