What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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