What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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