What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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