What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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