What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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