What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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A seal walks into a club...
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