What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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