What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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