What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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