What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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