What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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