What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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