What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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