What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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