What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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