What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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