What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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