What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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