What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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