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What did the boat say to the pier?
What's up, dock?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's a light-year?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because his feet stink
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What do you call two banana peels?
Slippers.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What kind of table has no legs.
A multiplication table.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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