What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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