What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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