What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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