What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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