What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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