What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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