What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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