What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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