What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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