What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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