What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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