What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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