What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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