What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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