What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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