What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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