What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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