What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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