What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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