What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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