What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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