What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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