What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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