What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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