What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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