What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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