What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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