What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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