What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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