What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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