What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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