What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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