What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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