What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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