What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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