What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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