What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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