What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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