What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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