What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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