What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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