What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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