What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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