What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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