What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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