What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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