What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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