What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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