What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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