What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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