What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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