What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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