What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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