What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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