What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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