What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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