What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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