What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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