What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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