What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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