What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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