What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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