What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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