What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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