What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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