What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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