What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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