What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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