What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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