What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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