What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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