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What did the candle say to the other candle?
I'm going out tonight!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty.
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What do planets like to read?
Comet books!
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What do you call a messy hippo?
A hippopota-mess
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?
Virgin mobile.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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