What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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