What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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