What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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