What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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