What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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