What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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