What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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