What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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