What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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