What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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