What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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