What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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A seal walks into a club...
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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