What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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