What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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