What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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