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What did the candle say to the other candle?
I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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What goes up and down but never moves?
Stairs.
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Went to the paper shop -
it had blown away.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?
Stop! You're under a vest.
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What washes up on small beaches?
Microwaves.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
His heart wasn't in it.
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