What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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