What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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