What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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