What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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