What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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