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What did the candle say to the other candle?
I'm going out tonight!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?
Gator-Ade.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
An envelope.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?
Address.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
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What letter can you drink?
T (tea)
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
A Moo-sician!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?
I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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