What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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