What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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