What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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