What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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