What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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