What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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