What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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