What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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