What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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