What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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