What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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