What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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