What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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