What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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