What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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