What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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