What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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