What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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