What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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