What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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