What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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