What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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