What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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