What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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