What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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