What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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