What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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