What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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