What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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