What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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