What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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