What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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