What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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