What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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