What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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