What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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