What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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