What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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