What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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