What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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