What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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