What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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