What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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