What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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