What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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