What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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