What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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