What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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