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What did the class clown take a computer to school?
Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
His "ghoul" friend!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,
What a turtle disaster
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?
By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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