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What did the class clown take a computer to school?
Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?
Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.
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What does one bucket say to the other?
I am feeling pale today.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position cords.
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