What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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