What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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