What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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