What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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