What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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