What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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