What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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