What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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