What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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