What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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