What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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