What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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