What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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