What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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