What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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