What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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