What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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