What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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