What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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