What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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