What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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