What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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