What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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