What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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