What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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