What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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