What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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