What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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