What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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