What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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