What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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