What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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