What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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