What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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