What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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