What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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