What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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