What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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