What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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