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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?
Snow White Supremacist.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips are moving.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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