What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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