What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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