What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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