What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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