What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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