What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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