What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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