What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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