What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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