What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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