What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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