What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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