What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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