What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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