What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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