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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
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Where are sharks from?
Finland.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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