What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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