What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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