What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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