What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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