What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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