What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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