What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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