What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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