What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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