What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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