What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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