What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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