What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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