What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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