What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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