What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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