What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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