What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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