What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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