What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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