What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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