What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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