What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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