What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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