What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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