What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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