What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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