What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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