What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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