What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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