What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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