What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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