What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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