What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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