What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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