What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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