What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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