What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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