What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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