What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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