What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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