What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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