What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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