What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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