What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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