What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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