What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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