What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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