What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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