What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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