What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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