What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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