What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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