What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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