What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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