What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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