What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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