What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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