What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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