What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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