What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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