What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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