What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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