One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
or
Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
or
She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
or
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
or