What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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