What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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