What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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