What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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