What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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