What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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