What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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