What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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