What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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