What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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