What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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