What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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