What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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