What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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