What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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