What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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