What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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