What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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