What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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