What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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