What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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