What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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