What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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