What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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