What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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