What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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