What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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