What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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