What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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