What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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