What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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