What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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