What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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