What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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