What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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