What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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