What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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