What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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