What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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