What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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