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What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?
They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did one wall say to the other?
I'll meet you at the corner.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?
A luna-tick
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
An envelope.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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