What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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