What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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