What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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