What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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