What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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