What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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