What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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