What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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