What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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