What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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