What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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