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What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do ghosts eat for supper?
Spooketi
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Why are pirates great singers?
They can hit the high C's!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?
King.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?
No way Hose A.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?
You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow
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