What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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