What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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