What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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