What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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