What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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