What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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