What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.

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