What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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