What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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