What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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