What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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