What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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