What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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