What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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