What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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