What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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