What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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