What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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