What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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