What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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