What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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