What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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