What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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