What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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