What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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