What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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