What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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