What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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