What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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