What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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