What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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