What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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