What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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