What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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