What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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