What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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