What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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