What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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