What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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