What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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