What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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