What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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