What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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