What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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