What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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