What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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