What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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