What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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