What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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