What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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