What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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