What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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