What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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