What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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