What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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