What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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