What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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