What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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