What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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