What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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