What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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