What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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