What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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