What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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