What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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