What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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