What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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