What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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