What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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