What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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