What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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