What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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