What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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