What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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