What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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