What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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