What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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