What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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