What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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