What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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