What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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