What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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