What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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