What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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