What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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