What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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