What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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