What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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