What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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