What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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