What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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