What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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