What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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