What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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