What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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